*Love like you mean it*

On the weekend of November 12-14, Tripp and I were blessed with the opportunity to go on a marriage retreat. My sweet in-laws gave us a gift of a  Family Life "Weekend to Remember" at the Chattanooge Choo Choo in Chattanooga, TN. Being that Tripp and I are still in the newlywed "honeymoon" phase of our marriage it was very encouraging, but also eye-opening to the commitment of marriage.  There were over 300 people attending the weekend and all were in different stages and places in their marriages. There were some engaged, newly married, starting a family, those who have been going to weekends like this for over 10 years, and there were also couples who this weekend was a make it or break it weekend for their marriage. I was reminded how thankful I am for being in the stage in my marriage that I am in. Its new, its sweet, and its full of a future ahead.

Day ONE: The first night was an introduction to a very intense and informative weekend ahead. The message of the night made such an impression on my heart. *Marriages are never static-they are either moving towards oneness or they are moving towards isolation. Dennis Rainey (founder of Family Life) defines oneness: "Oneness in marriage involves complete unity with each other. It's more than a mere mingling of two humans-it's a tender merger of body, soul, and spirit." After each days' sessions we were encouraged to spend time between the two of us to work on a project of the day. The project usually had to do with the topics discussed in that days sessions. It was such a special time to really focus and learn from each other. After day one we were starving and tired. Staying at the Chattanooga Choo Choo was so fun. There was an awesome pizza place that was actually in an old train car. So fun!

Day TWO: The second day was a lonnng day, but it was full of information. The focus was on communication and understanding that each of us have our own weaknesses and differences. But understanding those weaknesses and differences helps us to appreciate the balance it creates in oneness. If we turn our thoughts to being thankful for our differences we then gain an appreciation for how God created us for each other to stand as a balance, because no two people are the same and absolutely no one is perfect. For the project of the day were were asked to write a love letter to our spouse. The letter was to tell them what attracted you them, to thank them for their differences and weaknesses, it was to tell them what we had learned from them and to write your commitment to them for your marriage and what it means to you. It was absolutely the sweetest moment of our marriage. As Tripp read his letter to me, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with his genuine sweet and sincere words. His letter is something I will hold on to forever. At the end of the sessions for Day TWO we were encouraged to have a "date night" in the city of Chattanooga. They encouraged us to find something to do that would be memorable, bonding, and a way to grow closer together. And while it is assumed most of the couples probably went to a nice dinner, or to the aquarium, walked by the river, or visited one of the many tourist attraction sites of Chattanooga-the Smiths had to do something completely off the wall. WE got tattoos: it was def. memorable, its was def. a bonding experience that will be remembered FOREVER, and I feel it grew us closer together. (I will be honest-I had many a meltdown days following this "date night" and am still getting adjusted to the fact I have something so sweet and meaningful to my heart but so ever permanent on my body.) But you only live once right?! My tattoo is a reminder of the commitment I made to Tripp and is something I have always admired and desired from a distant-but now have it as a part of the new me :)

Day THREE: The last day was a shorter day concluding all we had learned for the weekend. At the start of the day they separated the wives and the husbands and each group was led by a different speaker. Each group discussed the differences in the role of husband and wife, the needs of the husband and wife, and how to encourage and love each other better by understanding each aspect of the way God specifically created us. When they brought us all back together the speaker had us all stand and face our spouse.The speaker then prayed over our lives and our marriages and asked us as we faced our spouse to repeat the traditional wedding vows to each other. The speaker emphasized that this was a reminder of the commitment and covenant made before God and each other. Having the opportunity to say these vows to each other was such a special and intimate thing for me. When Tripp and I got married we chose to have a very private ceremony in the Dominican Republic with only our immediate families in attendance. We had chosen to say vows that were more personal, more modern, and were similar to the traditional vows but more personal to us. So to be able to say the traditional wedding vows to each other in such an intense and intimate setting again brought an overwhelming emotion to us both. It was another moment that I will never forget in how I felt, how to look into Tripp's eyes and feel the love he had for me, and to know the words we shared with each other were eternally binding. I could not think of a more appropriate and meaningful way to end such a great weekend. *And you may now kiss your bride.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been able to go to something like this so early in our marriage. I feel that every couple should attend a weekend like this. A chance to get away, be reminded, and to grow closer to each other. I feel that it jump started a greater passion in my marriage and truly grew Tripp and I closer together. Like I mentioned earlier, we attended a Family Life Weekend to Remember and they are held all over the US. I encourage you in whatever stage you are in your marriage to consider attending a weekend for just the two of you to reconnect and to strive for oneness. You wont regret it.
Sorry to have written a novel (as Tripp just pointed out) but I feel it is important to encourage each other and my blog is an opportunity for me to share more about my life. So I hope you dont mind all the wordage. May you and yours be blessed :)